To Whom it May Help or Hurt

Happy 1-Year of Growth to Me!

As many of you may know or have figured out, I'm SINGLE again. SURPRISE! I think that I sort of made that pretty clear when I published, "I'm Single Now What," and I kept promising for a part two; so here it is.

As many of you may know or have figured out, I'm SINGLE again. SURPRISE! I think that I sort of made that pretty clear when I published, "I'm Single Now What," and I kept promising for a part two, so here it is. to being all emotional, let's break this thing down... Pros Vs Cons...

As of this week, it has officially been 1-year post-break-up and I have to say that it sure doesn't feel like it. I feel like every day I'm still dealing with the scars, but not as bad as before. Now before I get to be all emotional, let's break this thing down... Pros Vs Cons...


PROS:

I have become so much stronger than I was this time last year. It's something about going through a break-up ALONE that gives you such a source of strength. I mean, you never know how bad you needed yourself, until you're the only person that you have to depend on. Don't get me wrong, I had people in my corner that would try to offer a word of advice but it wasn't what I needed. I needed myself the most, and that brings about a different type of growth out of you.


I learned to forgive myself even when others didn't. For the longest, I felt like I was being hated for something that I had apologized a million times for! On top of that, I felt like given the things that I had forgiven him for time after time, why should this time be any different? Because I was the one dishing it out? However, it took this year alone for me to realize that it's not about who did what and my personal growth does not depend on whether or not people forgive me; it's about forgiving myself for what I have done. If I can forgive myself, acknowledge my role in the situation, and move on then I already have the upper hand.

CONS:

I would be lying if I said there wasn't anything bad about not being with the person you'd plan forever with, especially at this stage of life. I had become so used to traveling everywhere, creating new traditions together, small adventures around the city, supporting new business ventures.. it had almost become a routine for me. And to be stripped of that routine was a little hard for me. I had to now force myself to come up with new ideas that would promote my growth and my time of moving on. It wasn't easy, but I learned to create my own traditions, I learned to enjoy my own company, I learned to embark on business ventures for myself, I learned to INVEST in myself. I began taking trips by myself, basically doing all the things I was used to but modified; modified to learn what I liked/didn't like.

It wasn't easy, and being at places that I was used to being at with him was HARD, but I learned to turn my hurt into happiness. Now, I will go to lunch or on a trip by myself at the drop of a dime.


I could go on and on about what I learned and what my 4-year relationship taught me, but what's important to understand as a young, growing woman is that it's okay to start over. It's okay to begin a new chapter without the one you'd already planned everything with. Life doesn't always go as planned and that's okay! It's okay to not be okay, even after a year, it's okay to miss the person who you spent every moment with. You're allowed time to be sad. You're allowed to feel lonely. You're allowed to have your really good days and then maybe tomorrow you have a horrible day. Too many times, society and social media icons make young people feel as though they have to instantly move on because "we're too young" to be stuck on a "high school love!" We're human, we have feelings, our heart breaks, and our heart heals. Pain, guilt, and hurt are all inevitable feelings. We all go through it at some point. Through our pain comes our greatest triumphs! So never let anyone make you feel that you are weak or lesser because you chose to feel hurt.

I could go on and on about what I learned and what my 4-year relationship taught me, but what's important to understand as a young, growing woman is that it's okay to start over. It's okay to begin a new chapter without the one you'd already planned everything with. Life doesn't always go as planned and that's okay! It's okay to not be okay, even after a year, it's okay to miss the person who you spent every moment with. You're allowed time to be sad. You're allowed to feel lonely. You're allowed to have your really good days and then maybe tomorrow you have a horrible day. Too many times, society and social media icons make young people feel as though they have to instantly move on because "we're too young" to be stuck on a "high school love!" We're human, we have feelings, our heartbreaks, and our heart heals. Pain, guilt, and hurt are all inevitable feelings. We all go through it at some point. Through our pain comes our greatest triumphs! So never let anyone make you feel that you are weak or lesser because you chose to feel hurt.

Who knows, this may make a really great story one day!


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